UK Server + USA Server Dad Jokes

[MOD_Aamurusko]

Myself and V4lkyrie have been chatting, We both started a story over here a while back for fun, We are wondering do any of you play there too?

The Servers there are putting Dad Jokes in Global Chats.... We was wondering who has the best jokes going???

Please remember To:
Keep it Pegi 7
Keep it Relevant

Any Attempts to break the rules will be dealt with Accordingly

Best Dad Jokes please!!!

[MOD_Aamurusko]

Did you hear the story about the haunted lift?

It really raised my spirits

[ST0RM]

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

[Kit_]

Three guys are out for a walk, one is a bachelor, one is a husband and one is a dad, when they come across a magical children's slide in the park. A genie appears and tells them that he will grant them all one wish. Whatever they wish for as they slide down will be granted.
The bachelor goes first, 'Gold!' and he slides down and lands in a pile of gold
the husband goes next, 'diamonds!' and he slides down and lands in a pile of diamonds
the dad goes next, 'weeee!'

[Aiken-Drum]

Hamish walks in to a baker's, points, and says: "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" Baker says: "No, you're right enough, it's a doughnut."
(you have to use a Glasgow accent)

[YesImMrJ]

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

[Areop-Enap]

Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin! ::skull::

[Darth_Bales]

What is Dead and Goes up and down???

A Dead body in a lift

[ReginaldDwight]

Why do you never see Elephants hiding in trees? Their that good at it.

[Camalus]

Why are demons and ghouls always together?

Because demons are a ghouls best friend.

[MOD_Daz]

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

[Thejollyone]

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

[MOD_V4lkyrie]

England doesn't have a kidney bank. But it does have a Liverpool.

[Handsworth]

I think that nearly all modern humour is self-deprecating. Sadly, I'm no good at it.

[Handsworth]

I used to think that orthopaedic shoes were a waste of money but I stand corrected.

[Handsworth]

I would like to stage a Hide and Seek Championship...it's not easy.....good players are hard to find.

[Handsworth]

My grandparents were called Pearl & Dean but we just called them Grandma and Grand Papapapapapapapa

[RinceWinde]

I got some used batteries. Free of charge.

[LordBosse]

They should make another "Taken" film where Liam Neeeson's character is underappreciated trying to keep his family safe...

"Taken 4: Granted"

Stolen from the interwebs, but tell me of a good joke that isn't ;)

[LordBosse]

From Main chat in Newfoundland, imo a good one :D

[11:53] [CGT] Lipwig: My mother in law was attacked by a lion - Wife said to me are you going to help - I said no - If the Lions stupid enough to get itself into that mess....