cannot go to friends settlements

every time i try to go to a friends settlement the game just crashes i know it is not the computer as my husband can go view any settlement he wants

i can confirm this as we use the same computer

Might want to check out this thread

It's normally caused by troop production of the persons island you're going to being troops that are outside of the level you currently are (or buff production)

so that means i cannot go to a higher levels settlment?

When whatever they're making in Prov or the Barracks that is above your level is finished (or removed) you should be able to visit as usual.