The Never Ending Story

[Autolyca]

Just an idea for all of you obsessive game players looking for something to do while you wait for the resources you need to conquer the Universe...

Write a Pulitzer-Prize winning novel, co-authored by the entire Settlers Online community.

THE RULES...
(a) Anybody can add to the story BUT you can only write three sentences at a time.
(b) You may post as often as you like BUT you can never post twice in a row (i.e. someone else must post before you go again)
(c) Keep it clean - follow the forum guidelines to the letter (especially no Welsh jokes and especially x 2 no jokes about sheep)
(d) Stick to the plot

OK, for all you subversives out there - try to keep some sort of plot going.
OK, subversives, I'll rephrase that... sub-plots are OK, flash backs, flash forwards, even flash sideways are OK. Just try to keep to the same universe.

I'll start...

CHAPTER ONE

Ardlefast the Unblemished (Dragon Slayer, Mage of the Nine Mysteries, Counsellor of Kings, Palms read by Appointment (Tuesdays and Fridays only)), clattered into the courtyard of Castle Sunrise and leapt from the saddle of Gnometrampler, his trusty war-mule. "Awake, faithful Smegsniff, my trusty companion in adversity, we are called to the High King's Council and we must make haste", he cried. Smegsniff mumbled an obscene dwarfish curse, made an elaborate, obscene dwarfish gesture, rolled over in his obscene dwarfish bedroll and began to snore.

[nura]

Ardlefast kicks the bedpost, but Smegsniff hardly moves. "I rather be slaying a dragons than trying wake you up. Heard the King is in bad mood and it has to do something with the BANDIT attack on brewery last night while he was visiting the place. Hope the King is ...." he said. As soon as the word Smegsniff heard the word "brewery", he jumps out of the bed and shouts "Did we loose any barrels? Oh no I shouldn't have emptied the last barrel yesterday night."

[Autolyca]

"Only the very last barrel of Theakston's Old Incendiary in the kingdom", said Ardlefast, wiping a tear from his eye with a monogrammed silk handkerchief. With a heartbreaking cry, Smegsniff leapt from his bed, had mounted on his noble war goat Mouldfang and was already half way to the castle gates before his fetid dwarfish blankets had settled back on his bed.

[MollyAbbasAngel]

The noble war goat Mouldfang gallantly trotted off toward the place the brewery used to stand. Smegsniff (Red Dwarf fan Autolyca??) decided wasn't quite fast enough particularly when Mouldfang found the mossy and mouldy side a tree to munch on. Smegsniff, ran on ahead on foot, upon reaching the brewery. He fell to his knees as though slain by a two edged sword. The noise escaping his voice box was inhumane.

[captainsue]

He couldn't believe his eyes as he gazed at the ruin that used to be the brewery, seeing a hideous statue of Blogmouth the bandit standing in it's place. 'He shall pay for this with his life,' he vowed, and turning abruptly he dragged his overfed mount Mouldfang toward the guild hall to drum up recruits for his impending battle.

[MollyAbbasAngel]

After stumbling and dragging himself and the goat, with the fire still burning in his belly, over his lost brewery he could see the guild hall. He released his stubborn mount, who stopped dead at being released. With a burst of energy, like a lightening bolt, he ran the rest of the way up the steps of the guild hall, and ran in to Legnasabba, sending them both crashing to the floor, looking like they'd had too much brew.

[ShadowSlayerII]

Legnasabba got up and brushed himself down, giving Smegsniff the evil eye.
"What is your business here, Smeggy? Forgotten what comes after 'A'? "
"I. HAVE. COME. FOR. REVENGE!!!!!" He stands infront of his fellow people and says:

[Isvoor]

"Fellow people of Sunrise, I come to you to inform a most distressing event... Blogmouth has been doing his tricks again, and we need to fight back! Lets think up some ideas, because the bandits have never before attacked us!" Smegsniff said, staring back at the confused crowd.

[MollyAbbasAngel]

The dazed and confused glances kept travelling around the guild hall in what seemed like waves. Smegsniff was at a loss, however then realised he forgot to mention "Its the brewery its been destroyed." Outrage broke out from the previously apathetically confused group, in a quick motion there were pitchforks collected and and raised with shouts of death to Blogmouth.

[Dopey]

Blogmouth sat in his evil hideout drinking brew, munching on a celery stick while gathered round a fire laughing merrily with his fellow bandits and minding his own business.

As Blogmouth was about to take another sip of his goblet while thinking about the stupid diet his wife had put him on, his second in command came running into the room and said “Sir I have terrible news! Your evil cousin Fred has destroyed the village’s brewery and left compelling evidence it was you! Smegsniff is in the process of gathering a posse and coming here for revenge!”

“That dastardly swine! He’s set me up! He’s always trying to prove his more evil then me and has had his eye on this hideout for years! We must prepare ourselves men and hope we can prove our innocence before it’s to late!” said Blogmouth while throwing his celery stick to the floor and drawing his sword in a dramatic pointing action.