Limericks Event: Be the Best Bard!

[FinalCloud]

Cowardice
There was a young general called Cloud
"I'll kill those damned bandits!" He vowed,
Upon his arrival,
To ensure his survival,
He hid in the recruited crowd.

[FredFlintstone]

There was an old man called Bert
Gossip was that he was a flirt
He only had one eye
So the ladies said goodbye
And left him really really hurt.

ahh diddums.

[baldysettler]

There was once a young maiden called Wild Mary,
She had a reputation for being rather hairy.
She was getting sick of all the yibes
So she went for a short back and sides
And now goes by the name of Dave.

[Vertium]

There was a man named 'Tooth'
Who was rather aloof!!!
I tramped on his head,
Till he was dead!!!
Oh! He was so uncouth.

[Elles0705]

There once was a bandit called Mary
Whose face was in fact quite hairy
To the barber she went
And laid down every cent
Her chin now has nary a hairy!

per BB_Azariel "Only the first entry per player will be taken into account (you can edit your posts until the event deadline)"
Hope I'm not breaking the rules, BUT I had more than 1 limerick (for each bandit!), and I'm feeling quite poetic today, so I'm including the rest that I wrote, just for fun!

There once was a young villain named Bert
Whose feelings weren't easily hurt
The men would shout, "sissy"
"You look very prissy"
Then he'd bow in his bright pink hoopskirt!

********
There once was a young villain called Skunk
Whose was known around town as a punk
To the tavern he goes
Gets too drunk and he blows
Now his breath it does terribly stunk!

********
There was a young villain named Chuck
Who cooked a big hairy woodchuck
His friends he'd invite
To partake of a bite
Then they'd think him not much of a schmuck!

********
There once was an old villain named 'Tooth'
Who would sit and pine at lost youth
"I once was the best
But I've lost my zest
I spend days in my gin and vermouth!"

[rgbl]

We playing all in The Settlers all day long.
Waiting that our settlers come to the fill the store houses.
and drinking the brew and eating bread.
than we login out so for the settlers there work day all most done.
Than some thing a over chatting, be nice!! dont go cracking!!?.

[Aerys_TarGaryen]

There once was a soldier named Beaman,
Who went for a drink in the Green Man,
A general he spied,
In the corner pie-eyed,
He was dancing around with a bedpan.

[Cully]

I'm hoping these limericks aren't limited to one verse

To Chuck's camp the lads went off first.
The brew gave them a terrible thirst.
The cavalry rode,
and the militia strode,
and Chuck and his mob came off worst.

Then Metal Tooth was the attraction.
My men had their own plan of action.
To hit where it hurt,
And make him eat dirt,
And the metal man ended in traction.

Then on to the hardnut, old Mary.
She really did think she was scary.
My troops showed her who
Were the number one crew,
And made her look like one big hairy fairy.

Now my troops all have lots of time.
They're dealing with other folks crime.
They sail on the seas
And bring gangs to their knees.
Then back to Newfoundland they climb.

They fill up on their fish and their brew.
Train hard so they know what to do.
So if ever you need
Them to do a good deed,
They'll be ready to come help you too.

[CookTheCat]

There was a young veteran named Drew,
Who was fed on a diet of Brew,
All the people would say
"put your belly away"
"Before Mary makes mincemeat of you"

[Tierarzt]

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean -
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.