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Thread: Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

  1. #1
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    Red face Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium


    Feeling just a bit peckish? Trying to avoid excessive carbs?
    Want to try something different for a change?
    Or just wanting to rebel against Aunt Irma's obnoxious monopoly on nutrition development business?

    Try Uncle Antero's smelly Fish Platters!



    Guaranteed to bring a genuine upside down smile on your comrades face!
    Not to mention that nice greenish and repulsive glow on those workyards.

    You can even try dropping one of these babies down the wells
    for that special intoxicating zing!
    It will surely get your settlers buzzing throughout the whole island!!!

    .
    .
    .

    Feasting upon delicious Uncle Antero's Fish Platters might result in vomiting, hallucinations, rapid increase in heart beats, anger management problems,
    eyerolling at strangers, cursing in global chat and even uncontrollable crying in some rare cases. Eat at own risk!

    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 20.09.16 at 04:42. Reason: updated picture host...

  2. #2
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    UNCLE ANTERO'S FISH PLATTER EMPORIUM WISHES EVERYONE
    HAPPY EGG HUNTING!


    Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs... What to do with all these eggs?

    Uncle Antero has been experimenting with new secret recipes in his Emporium Headquarters to unlock the secrets of a new improved Platter dish, made entirely out of - you guessed it - eggs! All those beautiful eggs lying around in the scorching spring sun. Some being left behind for days before they are collected. With the help of his new pet rabbit ZockenMitKatze, Antero's been hoarding eggs everywhere to bring you the new Egg Platter! I mean, it's not as pretty as the dead fishies, but it smells just as rotten!

    As Uncle Antero always says:

    It's all about the smell!


    ZockenMitKatze
    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 20.09.16 at 04:43. Reason: updated picture host

  3. #3
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    Today, me and my lovely assistant ZockenMitKatze wrote an official letter. (I hope he found the mailbox outside our office building and didn't eat the scroll...)

    Dear TSO designing team,

    We, The Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium, have decided that this game needs a new smelly buff to compliment the on-going demand for the famous Uncle Antero's Fish Platter delicacy dish. And to celebrate the Easter Event, our Marketing and Recipe Development Team has come up with a win-win deal you can not (and will not want to) miss:


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    THE EGG PLATTER BUFF

    Smellier than ever!
    .
    .
    .

    We even planned the in-game specs ready for you guys:
    1. Decrease workyard productivity 50% for 24h
    2. Add a beautiful rotten green sparkle on your or your friend's workyard
    3. Adding this buff will ring a lovely jingle of Uncle Antero's frantic cackle, very similiar to that new Intrepid Explorerer's laugh (who I still think is just a man in a wig)

    Just think of it! Finally we can turn our friends into enemies in a quick and easy way! The Egg Platter way!

    Yours truly,
    Uncle Antero

    #TSOeggplatter #eggplatter #UncleAntero #FishPlatterEmporium #NiceAndStinky #YOBO (you only buff once)
    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 24.03.16 at 10:43. Reason: spellcheck and grammar

    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

  4. #4
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    To celebrate his new Forum Spotlight
    Uncle Antero dresses up to show support to the one and only

    PINKTUTUPRINCESS' GUIDE FOR NEWBIES

    Yes, we've all seen it.
    Yes, we've all pretty much read it.
    And yes, we've all been browsing through it while helping out a new gamer in desperation.
    So, put on your pink tutu and show some respect and love!

    PinkTutuPrincess' Guide for newbies


    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter
    It's sooo n00bilicious!
    Even ZockenMitKatze agrees.


    So cheap and easy, even beginners know how to make it!
    Uncle Antero's tasty (and smelly) Fish Platter

    Provided to you by none other than
    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 20.09.16 at 04:45. Reason: updated picture host

    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

  5. #5
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    ~ Thank You ~ 500 Thread Views ~ Thank You ~


    Welcome to the Uncle Antero's free Fish Platter tours. We are entering sector 3 shortly and soon to your left you will see the beautiful Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium Headquarters, which is the place where all the magic takes place.




    Every day, Uncle Antero visits the headquarters, checks on his staff, the quality of the work they put into the delicate art of creating Uncle Antero's delicious (and smelly) Fish Platter meals, and he is also seen taking daily strolls outside to the ingridients storehouse nearby, to check that the goods needed for the Uncle Antero's Fish Platters are plentiful and held in exactly the right temperature. (A bit over the average body temperature to ensure a fast and efficient fermentation process.) Yes, the musky and earthy stench in the air is mostly coming from the storehouse. Napkins to wipe those teary eyes are being distributed as we continue forwars.

    Outside the headquarters the decorative wells are set in a classic circle formation and the Headquarters sector is being protected by the statue of the Saint ZockenMitKatze. Settlers all around the islands actually come here to drop their Uncle Antero's Fish Platters down the wells for health and good fortune. Some even kiss the statue for miraculous interventions in hopes for better loot obtained and easier guild quests. The statue even blesses the humble pilgrims with a gentle BWAAAAHHH every now and then.

    The lush farmlands down south and the breweries and butchers closer to the mountain range provide a variety of food and drink for the happy workers and turists alike, not to mention the floating residences by the sea shore, where five star accommodation can be purchased througout the holiday seasons. So, if you wish to stay for a while, remember to book your accommodation in good time before your travel, since the rooms have a long waiting list.
    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 20.09.16 at 04:47. Reason: updated image host

    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

  6. #6
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    The Easter Event was a success!

    Just as my brilliant mind thought: Easter, the perfect cover up. No one would suspect my real intentions. All that egg hoarding, loot swapping, adventure trading and producing insane amounts of ores and planks and bows for guild quests in exchange for a few blue striped eggs was the perfect decoy to keep the local mayors unaware of what was happening behind their backs! No one suspected, no one even thought about it, no one had a clue. I fooled you all! April fools times one hundred. BAZINGA!

    So, what did I do, you ask? Well... You know those little white rabbids on all the islands... They were all working for me. FOR ME!!! Bwahahahaaa~ ...*cough*... um...

    You see, it was my dear assistant, ZockenMitKatze, who sent out all those millions of raving rabbids all over the arhipelago to gather customer feedback. They interviewed your settlers while you weren't looking and filled long surveys and complex polls regarding Uncle Antero's Fish Platters and the consumer experiences regarding them. They spied and listened and made all sorts of calculations and pie charts... A bit like Santa's little elves. But only a bit. I mean they weren't elves. They were Antero's Raving Rabbids...

    And the final analysis of all the data they gathered for me is finally here. And the results are broadcasted live to the whole world now. Oh, the excitement, oh, the anxiety! What did people think of my fish platters?!!



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    UNCLE ANTERO'S FISH PLATTERS STINK.
    Don't eat them.
    .
    .
    .

    Um... okay... So, you mean the smell was a bad thing? ...Oh! ... Then, what should we do? Change the smell...? I mean, someone on Global chat did say that calling them 'stinky' was not such a good selling point. Uncle Antero's 'scented' Fish Platters, then?

    ... ... ... I need to get down to Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium Research Facility and have a chat with my experimental science team.

    *runs off*
    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 16.05.16 at 20:22.

    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

  7. #7
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    In an island far far away...

    The evil and always greedy Aunt Irma has sent
    Victor the Vicious to steal company secrets
    from the Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium
    Research Facility.

    Thanks to the active Global-1 counter-spies,
    Uncle Antero learns quickly of Aunt Irma's
    evil plans and sends his brave and valiant
    Generals of the Round Platter to stop Victor...

    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

  8. #8
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    Uncle Antero's Personal Log, day 169

    Don't let it fool you. This whole crisis situation was to be expected. I knew Aunt Irma was having an ace up her sleeves, but I never anticipated she'd start this whole campaign, forcing everyone on the Archipelago to make and spread her buff baskets, leaving Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium empty handed with just a bunch of low level newbies sharing Fishplatters to no-one important. The disgrace! The horror!

    This truly is episode 6, The Return of Aunt Irma. A great evil has befallen my island, indeed, and that great evil has a name: Irma.

    Gather the herbs, my dear settlers. Gather the herbs and make antidotes. Those gift baskets are poisonous! (You know, 'gift' in german means poison...) It's a conspiracy. Put on your folio hats. Aunt Irma is pretending to share her sausagefests free of charge but you shall all be mislead. You will soon want more. You will soon crave for a second dose. And soon you will be buffed for life. And what kind of a life would that be? Don't listen to the lies, don't sing those songs. Be strong. Be patient. Uncle Antero is watching and smiling upon you.

    ---

    Back in the research lab. We have a new set of scented fish platters to try out. Such remarkable job they are doing. So many new smells, so many new possibilities! Wet dog, Morning breath, Gasoline... As soon as this week of crisis has passed, we shall rise again, stronger and smellier than ever!!
    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 22.06.16 at 13:32.

    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

  9. #9
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    THE GAME OF PLATTERS, book 1
    by Antero Turku


    New classic from the author of
    "Heart of Grout and other Fairy Tales and Legends from the Isles"
    Published by Platterdorf Scrolls ltd.

    It all started with the sudden cry from one of the ZockenMitKatze shrines. It was the heart stopping "BWAAAaaah!" that cut through the air on one late sunday morning and within seconds you could hear general Seppo Helsinki's deep voice shout out from his outpost: "Intruders on Platterdorf Island! Get your weapons! Ready your mounts!" Little did they know, it'd be too late for what was going to happen.

    You see, earlier that morning, the master of martial arts, Sauli "Kala" Kuopio, had been out gathering trash. It was something he had been doing every morning for over a week now. "All these new noble houses being built", he thought to himself, "so many more people living here now and so many more people throwing garbage out in the wilderness... And the kids just don't care anymore.", he had muttered to himself as he lifted a slinky half hidden from view in the high grass by the lake shore. The amount of old shoes, banana peels and other odd findings every morning had made him worried. He knew that not even the new recycle center on sector 9 was enough to process all this junk.

    This is when Sauli heard the raving rabbid statue's bloodthirsty cry. All his senses became alert in an instant. The enemy was near. The slinky dropped from his fingers and started rolling down the bank. And then it happened.




    The forest growing right behind him was suddenly engulfed in dark green smoke. Some might think to themselves: "Oh, they finally finished the egg platter buff." But Sauli knew better. He realized it was something far far worse. And with his eyes focused deep into the forest, he saw the culprit. It was a sihouette way too familiar to him. It was Victor the Vicious!

    The martial arts master tensed his muscles, ready to grab his sword and make his way through the ever thickening dark smoke. But that's when the stench hit him. It paralyzed him. Every hair in his body stood up and froze as a sudden gulf of panic drove through his body. And then he ran. He ran like he had never ran before.

    Within minutes, the smoke had lifted up and covered the whole sky. It covered the sun from the view and the whole island turned dark as night. The babies started crying as their parents looked at the sky in horror. And the stench was unbearable. Slowly the forests withered and died from lack of sunlight as the night-like darkness lingered on the Platterdorf island for days...
    Last edited by AnteroTurku; 20.09.16 at 05:04. Reason: updated picture host

    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

  10. #10
    Skilled Student AnteroTurku's Avatar
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    An ode to my Jarmo, my valiant knight
    Who wanted to marry a tailor, alright
    He took out his army and went to get loot
    But bumped into giants, not one - but two

    His recruits were smashed and his cavalry fled
    His bowmen got eaten and his own pants warm and wet
    The story short, he didn't marry his prince
    But slept for four hours, traumatized ever since


    A preview from Uncle Antero's new upcoming book
    "Heart of Grout and other Fairy Tales and Legends from the Isles, vol. 2"
    Published by Platterdorf Scrolls ltd.


    Uncle Antero's Fish Platter Emporium

    Here to make your Island have that extra special stench all year around!

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